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@SahilBloom The Persuasion Paradox Have you noticed that argumentative people rarely persuade anyone of anything? Persuasive people don’t argue—they observe, listen, and ask questions. Argue less, persuade more. Persuasion is an art that requires a paintbrush, not a sledgehammer. @ndwignall 🔥🧠 Tip: Never worry in your head. If you must worry, do it on paper, literally transcribe your worries. Constrain your worry to the speed of writing and you’ll rob it of 90% of its power. Abraham Lincoln. We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses. Adam Savage Beyond that, there is no magic formula for getting started, I promise. It merely requires that you participate in your world, that you pay attention to what interests you, that you follow the thrills they produce, and that you’re never afraid to go deep on them, to obsess over them, to dig through the bottom of the rabbit hole if necessary, and to find that great idea which has been waiting there for you all along. Alan Watts To cherish the ego is to cherish misery. Anne Lamott Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. Anon "What is it you do to train that is comparable to a pianist practicing scales?" If you don’t know the answer to that one, maybe you are doing something wrong or not doing enough. Or maybe you are (optimally) not very ambitious. Anon Always do the simplest thing first. Anon Ask 3 times Is there more?. Anon At the end of your life when you look back at this, who do you want to have been? How do you want people to have thought of you?. Anon Be a kind human. Anon Beware the quiet man. For while others speak, he watches. And while others act, he plans. And when they finally rest... he strikes. Anon Don’t say I hate. Say It’s not for me. Anon Drawing Makes Us Better Humans. Anon If you don't deal with your demons they'll move into the cellar and lift weights. Anon It’s easy to get stuck thinking about a more efficient way to do something you haven’t done yet. Anon Punctuate your day with moments of mindfulness . Anon Radical Candor, or Ruinous Empathy, or Obnoxious Aggression, or Manipulative Incenserity?. Anon Remember the human. Anon Unfortunately, if you want to get anywhere in life, you’ll have to struggle. Anon Whatever you fear most has no power. It is your fear that has the power. Arnold Schwarzenegger Don't be afraid of failing because there's nothing wrong with failing. Arnold Schwarzenegger When you have a Plan B, you're taking energy away from Plan A. Ask yourself after a conversation was there anywhere I was more interested in control, approval, and survival, than I was in learning?. Atomic Habits A systems-first mentality beats a goal-oriented mind-set. Atomic Habits Get 1 percent better each day. Atomic Habits Happiness is simply the absence of desire. Atomic Habits It’s easy not to practice the guitar when it’s tucked away in the closet. Atomic Habits Master the habit of showing up. Atomic Habits Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way. Atomic Habits Reframe your habits to highlight their benefits rather than their drawbacks. Atomic Habits Suffering is the space between craving a change in state and getting it. Atomic Habits Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have. Atomic Habits The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. Atomic Habits To master a habit, start with repetition, not perfection. Atomic Habits We don’t choose our earliest habits, we imitate them. Blaise Pascal All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Box Breathing 1. Breathe in for four seconds. 2. Hold air in your lungs for four seconds. 3. Exhale for four seconds. 4. Hold your breath, lungs emptied, for four seconds. Brain Rules Be very social. Brain Rules Flood your mind with nostalgic memories. . Brain Rules Intensely learn something new, especially a new language. Brain Rules Mindfulness (meditation) improves our brains. Brain Rules Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Brain Rules Read 3+ hours per day. Brain Rules Take dance lessons. Cornell West The last thing we need is spectacle without substance. David Pakman To have good discussion ask, how do you think I came to my position, and what evidence can I present to change your mind. Deep Work A succession of mediocre singers does not add up to a single outstanding performance. Deep Work Deliberate practice requires: Attention and Feedback. Deep Work Donald Knuth: I have been a happy man ever since January 1, 1990, when I no longer had an email address. Email is a wonderful thing for people whose role in life is to be on top of things. But not for me; my role is to be on the bottom of things. What I do takes long hours of studying and uninterruptible concentration. Deep Work Eudaimonia (a state in which you’re achieving your full human potential). Deep Work Minimize the amount of willpower necessary to maintain unbroken concentration. Deep Work Neal Stephenson: All of my time and attention are spoken for - several times over. Please do not ask for them. Deep Work Schedule every minute of your day. Deep Work Spend enough time in a state of frenetic shallowness and you permanently reduce your capacity to perform deep work. Deep Work Waiting for inspiration to strike is a terrible, terrible plan. Derek Sivers Don't be a donkey (from the fable that can't decide between the water and hay). Derek Sivers The standard pace is for chumps. Duncan Trussel Any kind of behavior that produces negative outcomes , like smoking, is just planting seeds. The momentum your experiencing right now is the sum total of all those fucking seeds. You’re a waking field of karma. Eddie Izard You have to be brave and curious or fearful and suspicious. Ego Is The Enemy "See much, study much, suffer much, that is the path to wisdom", old Celtic saying. Ego Is The Enemy **But for the grace of God go I. But for the grace of God, that could be any of us**. Ego Is The Enemy **Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned**. Ego Is The Enemy **Ego needs honors in order to be validated**. Confidence on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition. Ego Is The Enemy **Make it so you don't have to fake it**. Ego Is The Enemy **Make other people look good and you will do well**. Keep your head down, they say, and serve your boss. Ego Is The Enemy **There's no one to perform for**. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned, in all that is around us. Ego Is The Enemy A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you - C. S. LEWIS. Ego Is The Enemy A team, like men, must be brought to its knees before it can rise again - Vince Lombardi. Ego Is The Enemy Abhor flatterers as you would deceivers; for both, if trusted, injure those who trust them - Isocrates. Ego Is The Enemy An education can't be "hacked"; there are no shortcuts besides **hacking it every single day**. If you don't, they drop you. . Ego Is The Enemy Be affable in your relations with those who approach you, and never haughty; for the pride of the arrogant even slaves can hardly endure - Isocrates. Ego Is The Enemy Be slow in deliberation, but be prompt to carry out your resolves - Isocrates. Ego Is The Enemy Best thing which we have in ourselves is good judgment - Isocrates. Ego Is The Enemy Constantly train your intellect, for the greatest thing in the smallest. Ego Is The Enemy Don't boast. There's nothing in it for you. Ego Is The Enemy Every day the dust comes back. Every day we must sweep - Daniele Bolelli. Ego Is The Enemy He who fears death will never do anything worthy of a living man - Seneca. Ego Is The Enemy Help us be: **Humble** in our aspirations. **Gracious** in our success. Ego Is The Enemy If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity - Marina Abromovic . Ego Is The Enemy In the end, the only way you can appreciate your progress is to **stand on the edge of the hole you dug for yourself**, look down inside it, and smile fondly at the bloody claw prints that marked your journey up the walls. Ego Is The Enemy Is it ten thousand hours or twenty thousand hours to mastery? The answer is that it doesn't matter. **There is no end zone**. Ego Is The Enemy It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows - Epictetus. Ego Is The Enemy It'd be far better if you were intimidated by what lies ahead humbled by its magnitude and determined to see it through regardless. Leave passion for the amateurs. Ego Is The Enemy Paul Graham says to have "frighteningly ambitious" ideas but, "The way to do really big things seems to be to start with deceptively small things". Ego Is The Enemy People learn from their failures. Seldom do they learn anything from success - Harold Geneen. Ego Is The Enemy Pick up a book on a topic you know next to nothing about. Put yourself in rooms where you're the least knowledgeable person. Change your mind. Change your surroundings. Ego Is The Enemy Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself (passion). Ego Is The Enemy Talent is only the starting point - Irving Berlin. Ego Is The Enemy The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool - Richard Feynman. Ego Is The Enemy They cannot degrade Frederick Douglass. The soul that is within me no man can degrade. I am not the one that is being degraded on account of this treatment, but those who are inflicting it upon me - Frederick Douglas. Ego Is The Enemy This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell. My blessing season this in thee! - Shakespeare, Polonius to his son Laertes. Ego Is The Enemy Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know - LAO TZU. Ego Is The Enemy Tiger, one day you will come to a fork in the road, and you're going to have to make a decision about which direction you want to go. If you go that way you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments. Or you can go that way and you can do something something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself. If you decide you want to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get the good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won't have to compromise yourself. You will be true to your friends and to yourself. And your work might make a difference. To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That's when you will have to make a decision - Forty-Second Boyd (fighter pilot). Ego Is The Enemy What matters to an active man is to do the right thing; whether the right thing comes to pass should not bother him - GOETHE. Ego Is The Enemy When someone doesn't reckon you with the seriousness that you'd like, the impulse is to correct them. Instead, you must do nothing. Take it. **Eat it** until you're sick. Endure it. Quietly brush it off and **work harder**. Play the game. Ego Is The Enemy You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do - Henry Ford. Ego Is The Enemy You will be unappreciated. You will be sabotaged. You will experience surprising failures. Your expectations will not be met. You will lose. You will fail. Ego Is The Enemy You're becoming who you are going to be and so you might as well not be an. Ego Is The Enemy no adornment so becomes you as modesty, justice, and self-control; for these are the virtues by which, as all men are agreed, the character of the young is held in restraint - Isocrates. Eleanor Roosevelt, from her book, “You Learn by Living.” The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Emmanuel Kant Act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means. Fearless Feedback It is your responsibility as the feedback receiver, whether you accept or reject it, to at least consider the feedback and be thoughtful about it. Fort Minor This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, And a hundred percent reason to remember the name Francis Crick It is amateurs who have one big bright beautiful idea that they can never abandon. Professionals know that they have to produce theory after theory before they are likely to hit the jackpot. Frank Herbert, What do you despise? By this are you truly known. Franklin D. Roosevelt, from his first inaugural speech. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklin D. Roosevelt, in one of his radio addresses to the nation. The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. From The Art of Possibility I will have to remember ‘I am here today to cross the swamp, not to fight all the alligators’. Hell Divers - Nicholas Sansbury Smith Accept your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. Face your future without fear. How Luck Happens Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. How Luck Happens Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up. How Luck Happens So trade out your map for a compass. Immanuel Kant Act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means. Indian philosopher J Krishnamurti, Nonviolent Communication Observing without evaluation is the highest form of intelligence. J.K. Rowling, from her book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.” It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. James Clear A strategy for thinking clearly: Rather than trying to be right, assume you are wrong and try to be less wrong. James Clear How long will you put off what you are capable of doing, just to continue what you are comfortable doing?. James Clear You know yourself mostly by your thoughts. Everyone else in the world knows you only by your actions. Remember this when you feel misunderstood. You have to do or say something for others to know how you feel. James Clear [1% Better Every Day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNeXuCYiE0U). Jay Shetty on karma from a Vedic perspective "Karma is the law of every action has an equal and opposite reaction; that anything we receive in life is based on the intention and the attention with which we made a decision." ... "because the intention and the attention are not in the right place and therefore you get a result. [You don't get hurt because you hurt someone, you get hurt] because the intention and the attention at that moment in time is misaligned. Similarly, when you go through a relationship and something terrible happens, like someone cheats on you, it's not because you cheated on someone, it's because when you look back, you know that you let some red flags slide. You know that you weren't observant, you didn't listen to your intuition. You know that there were parts of them that you could tell that they were ready to do something like that, but you were ignorant, or you were so negligent you trusted them blindly. You didn't let them earn your trust, you just gave your trust away. You didn't let them build your trust, you just trusted them because you thought they were amazing and they were wonderful and they were kind but you got blind in love". Jerry Colonna What am I not saying that needs to be said? What am I saying that’s not being heard? What’s being said that I’m not hearing?. Jim Carrey Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. How do I know this? Because I'm making sound. Jim Carrey You can fail at what you don't love, so you might as well do what you do love. Jim Dethmer It takes an unbielevable amount of energy to resist reality. Jim Dethmer Are you willing to take responsibility for creating your reality. Jim Dethmer Don’t be a victim of people, circumstances and conditions. Jim Dethmer During a conversation just pause for a breath and ask yourself, in this moment am I genuinely interested in generating a win for all outcome. Or have I constricted such that the most important thing is protecting my ego. Jim Dethmer Feelings past 90 seconds if I don’t feed it and drop into my body. Jim Dethmer I can only be empathetic with someone else’s emotions as much as I’m comfortable with my emotion. . Jim Dethmer The antidote to fear is not courage. It’s acceptance. Jim Dethmer Unless people are equally valuing EQ (with IQ) the best decisions are being made. Jim Dethmer Unless you’re aligned on your agreements you’ll circle around drama. Jim Dethmer When you get feedback don’t ask if it’s true. Ask HOW it is true (of the person and 3 others). Jim dethmer Almost all life is lived from the triangle of victim villain hero. Jim dethmer The ability to to become self reflective, to pause, quiet the mind a bit, and turn attention back on itself. Joe Rogan Do you want to be the guy on the bumper sticker, he who dies with the most toys wins. Joe Rogan It’s hard to escape the momentum of your past. We define ourselves by our mistakes. John C. Maxwell, from his book “The 5 Levels of Leadership.” The best leaders are those most interested in surrounding themselves with assistants and associates smarter than they are. Jose Raul Capablanca To begin you must study the end. Julie Rice There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs. Julie Rice There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs. Julie Rice To have a conversation you to have to first learn to listen. Kevin Systrom Do the thing. Don't just write articles about starting. Kevin Systrom Never expect you'll get a No. Always put your name in. Kurt Vonnegut You are what you pretend to be. Malcolm X Sincerity is my only credential. Mark Caine, from his book “The Blueprint.” The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. Mark Twain, from his book “The Innocents Abroad.” The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Matt Haig, from his book “Reasons to Stay Alive.” The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Michael Jordan Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation. Michael Jordan Be true to the game, because the game will be true to you. If you try to shortcut the game, then the game will shortcut you. If you put forth the effort, good things will be bestowed upon you. That’s truly about the game, and in some ways that’s about life too. Michael Jordan Being Michael Jordan means acting the same as I always have. Michael Jordan Best evaluation I can make of a player is to look in his eyes and see how scared they are. Michael Jordan Do I need my number retired throughout the course of the league to acknowledge what I’ve done? No. . Michael Jordan Don’t let them drag you down by rumors just go with what you believe in. Michael Jordan Enjoy every minute of life. Never second-guess life. Michael Jordan Even when I’m old and gray, I won’t be able to play it, but I’ll still love the game. Michael Jordan Every time I feel tired while I am exercising and training, I close my eyes to see that picture, to see that list with my name. This usually motivates me to work again. Michael Jordan Everybody has talent, but ability takes hard work. Michael Jordan Failure is acceptable. but not trying is a whole different ball park. Michael Jordan For a competitive junkie like me, golf is a great solution because it smacks you in the face every time you think you’ve accomplished something. That to me has taken over a lot of the energy and competitiveness for basketball. Michael Jordan Heart is what separates the good from the great. Michael Jordan How many times have your parents told you not to do things, and the next thing you know, you go do it? And you realized you shouldn’t have done it. . Michael Jordan I believe greatness is an evolutionary process that changes and evolves era to era. . Michael Jordan I built my talents on the shoulders of someone else’s talent. Michael Jordan I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. Michael Jordan I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it is an illusion to me. Failure always made me try harder the next time. Michael Jordan I know the signs of scaredness. Michael Jordan I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others. Michael Jordan I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot… When you think about the consequences you will always think of the negative result. Michael Jordan I own the guy guarding me. Michael Jordan I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. Michael Jordan I realized that if I was going to achieve anything in life I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it. Michael Jordan I want to be perceived as a guy who played his best in all facets, not just scoring. A guy who love challenges. Michael Jordan I want to be the bridge to the next generation. Michael Jordan I want to wake up every day and do whatever comes in my mind, and not feel pressure or obligations to do anything else in my life. Michael Jordan I would tell players to relax and never think about what’s at stake. Just think about the basketball game. If you start to think about who is going to win the championship, you’ve lost your focus. Michael Jordan If I had been playing for money I would have complained a long time ago that I was underpaid. Michael Jordan If it turns out that my best wasn’t good enough, at least I won’t look back and say I was afraid to try. Michael Jordan If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. Michael Jordan If you do the work you get rewarded. There are no shortcuts in life. Michael Jordan If you quit once it becomes a habit. Never quit!. Michael Jordan In any investment, you expect to have fun and make money. . Michael Jordan In college I never realized the opportunities available to a pro athlete. I’ve been given the chance to meet all kinds of people, to travel and expand my financial capabilities, to get ideas and learn about life, to create a world apart from basketball. Michael Jordan In reality, I never want to grow up. Michael Jordan It’s absolutely wrong that I don’t want guys to challenge me. And the people who say that aren’t in the room. Michael Jordan It’s heavy duty to try to do everything and please everybody. My job was to go out there and play the game of basketball as best I can. People may not agree with that. I can’t live with what everyone’s impression of what I should or what I shouldn’t do. Michael Jordan I’m not out there sweating for three hours every day just to find out what it feels like to sweat. Michael Jordan I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan I’ve never lost a game I just ran out of time. Michael Jordan Learning’s a gift, even when pain is your teacher. Michael Jordan Live the moment for the moment. Michael Jordan Make it happen. Michael Jordan My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength. Michael Jordan My body could stand the crutches but my mind couldn’t stand the sideline. Michael Jordan My challenge when I came back was to face the young talent, to dissect their games, and show them maybe that they needed to learn more about the game than just the money aspect. Michael Jordan My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said you never know what you can accomplish until you try. Michael Jordan My heroes are and were my parents. I can’t see having anyone else as my heroes. Michael Jordan Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. Michael Jordan Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. Michael Jordan Once I made a decision, I never thought about it again. Michael Jordan Sometimes you need to get hit in the head to realize that you’re in a fight. Michael Jordan Sometimes, things may not go your way, but the effort should be there every single night. Michael Jordan Sometimes, things may not go your way, but the effort should be there every single night. Michael Jordan Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships. Michael Jordan The best come from the worst. Michael Jordan The game has its ups and downs, but you can never lose focus of your individual goals and you can’t let yourself be beat because of lack of effort. Michael Jordan The game is my wife. It demands loyalty and responsibility, and it gives me back fulfillment and peace. Michael Jordan The key to success is failure. Michael Jordan The minute you get away from fundamentals, whether it’s proper technique, work ethic or mental preparation, the bottom can fall out of your game, your schoolwork, your job, whatever you’re doing. Michael Jordan There is no "I" in team but there is in win. Michael Jordan There is no such thing as a perfect basketball player, & I don’t believe there is only one greatest player either. Michael Jordan To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate. Michael Jordan To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail. Michael Jordan When I will lose the sense of motivation and the sense to prove something as a basketball player, it’s time for me to move away from the game. Michael Jordan Winning isn’t always championships. Michael Jordan You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that. Michael Jordan You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. Michael Jordan You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. Michael Jordan You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them. Mohammad Ali, when asked how many situps he does I don't start counting until it starts to hurt. Nelson Mandela, from his autobiography “Long Walk to Freedom.” The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Nicholas Boothman, How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less A visual person will tend to look up to the left or right as if he’s seeing the answer, an auditory person will look left or right (toward his ears), and a kinesthetic person will look down to either side, toward his hands and body. Nicholas Boothman, How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less Be sure you’re the first one to smile. Nicholas Boothman, How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less Direct eye contact is a great way to establish trust. Nicholas Boothman, How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less Lean slightly toward the other person to subtly indicate interest and openness. Nicholas Boothman, How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less To display openness to someone, you must position your body with your heart aimed directly toward them. Nietzche The fatal flaw in any belief system is that, it’s run by fallible human beings, who will eventually find a way to corrupt it, or pit it against other belief systems. Nonviolent Communication Ask yourself "Why am I angry?" rather than "Who am I angry with?" . Nonviolent Communication Instead of saying "I feel a bit down", use sharper adjectives and clarify the reasons why. On Arguments "What proof would it take to change your mind?". If they can’t give you an answer, then stop wasting your time. Oscar Wilde To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. Peter Drucker, from his book “Managing Oneself.” The best way to predict your future is to create it. Ralph Waldo Emerson, from his essay “Nature” Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson, from his essay “Self-Reliance.” To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ray Dali Ask yourself first if you have a right to have an opinion. Red Moon - Kim Stanley Robinson It’s the process of exploration itself that fascinates us, not the places we explore. Ricky Gervais Relax. No one else knows what they’re doing either. Ricky Gervais To lead the orchestra you have to turn your back on the public. Robert Frost, from his poem “The Road Not Taken.” In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. Sam Altman Life is not a dress rehearsal, this is probably it. Make it count. Seth Godin Authenticity is overrated. I want a professional to show up. Seth Godin It's easy to hide behind a grandiose idea. It's hard to hide when you have a small plan. Seth Godin Keep doing the work with generosity until the lizard brain stops censoring you. Seth Godin Send someone a thank you note. Seth Godin Systems with slack are more resilient. The few extra minutes of time aren’t wasted, the same way that a bike helmet isn’t wasted if you don’t have a crash today. That buffer will save the day, sooner or later. Seth Godin We wouldn't accept our boss talking to us like we talk to ourselves. Seth Godin You are more powerful than you think you are. Act accordingly. Seth godin We can’t out-obedience the competition. Therefore we have to learn to be creative. Sharon Salzburg All beings own their own karma. Their happiness is dependent on their actions not my wishes for them. Sheila Heen It’s not usually good advice to be _emotional_. It is good advice to express emotion in a professial way. Socrates, from his philosophical teachings The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing. Stephen Duneier https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQMbvJNRpLE: What goals can I achieve by making marginal adjustments. Steve Jobs, from his Stanford University commencement speech. Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. The 12 Week Year Your 12 week plan should have *lead*, and *lag*, indicators. The 12 Week Year Your week should include three kinds of protected time: strategic blocks, buffer blocks, and breakout blocks. The Big Short He’ll say ‘explain that to me’ thirty different times. Or ‘could you explain that more, in English?’ Because once you do that, there’s a few things you learn. For a start, you figure out if they even know what they’re talking about. The Big Short The more he studied Buffett, the less he thought Buffett could be copied; indeed, the lesson of Buffett was: To succeed in a spectacular fashion you had to be spectacularly unusual. The Dichotomy of Leadership Build momentum right away. The Dichotomy of Leadership If you want to be a good leader, be a good follower. The Dichotomy of Leadership There is a time to stand firm and enforce rules and there is a time to give ground and allow the rules to bend. The Fine Art of Small Talk FORM: family, occupation, recreation and miscellaneous - asking open ended questions. The Fine Art of Small Talk it’s always in your favor to introduce yourself. The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck Manson’s Law of Avoidance: the tendency to flee anything that threatens our identity. Theodore Roosevelt It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly. Who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds. Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions. Who spends himself in a worthy cause. Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Thinking In Bets Agree to be open-minded to those who disagree eith you, give credit where it’s due, and take responsibility where it’s appropriate,. Thinking In Bets Blind-spot bias is worse the smarter you are. Thinking In Bets Experience can be an effective teacher, but only some students listen to their teachers. Thinking In Bets Hindsight bias is the tendency, after an outcome is known, to see the outcome as having been inevitable. Thinking In Bets Imagine yourself looking back from the destination and figure how you got there. Remembering the future is a better way to plan for it. Thinking In Bets Life is more like poker. You could make the smartest, most careful decision and still have it blow up in your face. Thinking In Bets Negative visualization makes you more likely to achieve your goals. Thinking In Bets People are more willing to offer their opinion when the goal is to win a bet rather than get along with people in a room. Thinking In Bets Saying I don’t know is a necessary step toward enlightenment. Thinking In Bets Skepticism is about approaching the world by asking why things might not be true rather than why they are true. Thinking In Bets Telling someone how a story ends encourages them to be resulters, to interpret the details to fit that outcome. Thinking In Bets There’s not much purpose in a poker story if the point is about something you had no control over, like bad luck. Thinking In Bets Two things determine how your life turns out: the quality of your decisions, and luck. Recognize the difference between the two. Thomas Jefferson He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Tim Ferris No one gets plumber's block. They just do plumbing. Under Pressure by Lisa Damour Girls place more emphasis on the feedback they receive from their teachers than boys do. Upton Sinclair Try again, fail again , better. Warren Buffett Writing a check separates a commitment from a conversation. Warren Buffett You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass. Warren Buffett, from his book “The Essays of Warren Buffett: Lessons for Corporate America.” The best investment you can make is in yourself. William James When we come down to the root of the matter, we see that [geniuses] differ from ordinary men less in the character of their attention than in the nature of the objects upon which it is successively bestowed. Winston Churchill, from his book “My Early Life.” Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill, from his speech to the House of Commons. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. Zig Ziglar, from his book “See You at the Top” You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. https://gen.medium.com/if-youre-angry-you-re-part-of-the-problem-not-the-solution-d50a74b119cb Getting angry is not a strategy. It’s a distraction. https://github.com/arafatm/notes/blob/master/lifehack/cracked_6_Harsh_Truths_That_Will_Make_You_a_Better_Person.md Damn it, you have to kill those excuses. Or they will kill you. https://github.com/arafatm/notes/blob/master/lifehack/cracked_6_Harsh_Truths_That_Will_Make_You_a_Better_Person.md It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created. https://github.com/arafatm/notes/blob/master/lifehack/cracked_6_Harsh_Truths_That_Will_Make_You_a_Better_Person.md Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people. https://jamesclear.com/why-facts-dont-change-minds Be kind first, be right later. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known 90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known A wise man said, "Before you speak let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate ask yourself, 'Is it true.' At the second gate ask, 'Is it necessary,' At the third gate ask, 'Is it kind?'" https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known About 99% of the time, the right time is right now. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Actual great opportunities do not have "Great Opportunities" in the subject line. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Always read the plaque next to the monument. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Anything you say before the word "but" does not count. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Art is whatever you can get away with. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Criticize in private, praise in public. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont believe everything you think you believe. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont bother fighting the old; just build the new. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Dont wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Dont focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year? https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Make stuff that is good for people to have. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Take note if you find yourself wondering "Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?" That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Take the stairs. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Thank a teacher who changed your life. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The biggest lie we tell ourselves is "I dont need to write this down because I will remember it." https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known The only productive way to answer "what should I do now?" is to first tackle the question of "who should I become?" https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known There is no such thing as being "on time." You are either late or you are early. Your choice. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, "Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great." If they don’t reply take that as a negative. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When negotiating, dont aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to "spray" your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make "explaining the problem" part of your troubleshooting process. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them "what would be fair" and their answer usually is. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You are as big as the things that make you angry. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that dont spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do. https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 1 Try and reach a shared understanding rather than ‘win the argument’. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 2 Clarify with others to make sure I genuinely understand their perspective. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 3 Endeavor to avoid committing [logical fallacies](https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/) in support of my claims. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 4 Attempt to account for my own [biases](https://yourbias.is/) and try to be intellectually humble. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 5 Try to be reasonable, rational, and create coherent arguments. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 6 Refrain from personal attacks, sarcasm, and mean-spiritedness. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 7 Use the [Principle of Charity](https://ethics.org.au/ethics-explainer-the-principle-of-charity/) to see the merits of others’ points of view in the best light. https://therulesofcivilconversation.org 8 Remain genuinely receptive to changing my mind if presented with compelling arguments or evidence. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Anentiodromia: An excess of something can give rise to its opposite. E.g. A society that is too liberal will be tolerant of tyrants, who will eventually make it illiberal. I explain more here:. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Apophenia: We impose our imaginations on arrangements of data, seeing patterns where no such patterns exist. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Availability Cascade: When a new concept enters the arena of ideas, people react to it, thereby amplifying it. The idea thus becomes more popular, causing even more people to amplify it by reacting to it, until everyone feels the need to talk about it. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Belief Bias: Arguments we'd normally reject for being idiotic suddenly seem perfectly logical if they lead to conclusions we approve of. In other words, we judge an argument’s strength not by how strongly it supports the conclusion but by how strongly *we* support the conclusion. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Causal Reductionism: Things rarely happen for just 1 reason. Usually, outcomes result from many causes conspiring together. But our minds cannot process such a complex arrangement, so we tend to ascribe outcomes to single causes, reducing the web of causality to a mere thread. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Concept Creep: As a social issue such as racism or sexual harassment becomes rarer, people react by expanding their definition of it, creating the illusion that the issue is actually getting worse. I explain the process in detail here: https://rabbitholemag.com/how-progress-blinds-people-to-progress/. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Condorcet Paradox: a special instance of Simpson’s paradox applied to elections, in which a populace prefers candidate A to candidate B, candidate B to C, and yet candidate C to A. This occurs because the majority that favors C is misleadingly divided among different groups. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Cultural Parasitism: An ideology parasitizes the mind, changing the host’s behavior so they spread it to other people. Therefore, a successful ideology (the only kind we hear about) is not configured to be true; it is configured only to be easily transmitted and easily believed. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Cumulative Error: Mistakes grow. Beliefs are built on beliefs, so one wrong thought can snowball into a delusional worldview. Likewise, as an inaccuracy is reposted on the web, more is added to it, creating fake news. In our networked age, cumulative errors are the norm. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Dunning-Kruger Effect: Awareness of the limitations of cognition (thinking) requires a proficiency in metacognition (thinking about thinking). In other words, being stupid makes you too stupid to realize how stupid you are. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Emergence: When many simple objects interact with each other, they can form a system that has qualities that the objects themselves don’t. Examples: neurons creating consciousness, traders creating the stock-market, simple mathematical rules creating "living" patterns. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Emotive Conjugation: Synonyms can yield positive or negative impressions without changing the basic meaning of a word. Example: someone who is obstinate (neutral term) can be "headstrong" (positive) or "pig-headed" (negative). This is the basis for much bias in journalism. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Ergodicity: A die rolled 100 times has equal probabilities to 100 dice rolled once; rolling a die is "ergodic". But if the die gets chipped after 10 throws so it’s likelier to roll 4, then 1 die 100 times =/= 100 dice once (non-ergodic). Many treat non-ergodic systems as ergodic. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Focusing Illusion: Nothing is ever as important as what you’re thinking about while you’re thinking about it. E.g. worrying about a thing makes the thing being worried about seem worse than it is. As Marcus Aurelius observed, "We suffer more often in imagination that in reality.". https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Golden Hammer: When someone, usually an intellectual who has gained a cultish following for popularizing a concept, becomes so drunk with power he thinks he can apply that concept to everything. Every mention of this concept should be accompanied by a picture of @nntaleb. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Goodhart’s Law: When a measure becomes a goal, it ceases to become a measure. E.g. British colonialists tried to control snakes in India. They measured progress by number of snakes killed, offering money for snake corpses. People responded by breeding snakes & killing them. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Gurwinder Principle: It is often necessary to eat chocolate cake. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Halo Effect: When a person sees an agreeable characteristic in something or someone, they assume other agreeable characteristics. Example: if a Trump supporter sees someone wearing a MAGA cap, he’s likely to think that person is also decent, honest, hard-working, etc. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Legibility: We see a complex natural system, assume that because it *looks* messy that it must be disordered, then impose our own order on it to make it "legible". But in removing the messiness we remove essential components of the system that we couldn’t grasp, and it fails. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Limited Hangout: A common tactic by journos & politicians of revealing intriguing but relatively innocent info to satisfy curiosity and prevent discovery of more incriminating info. E.g. a politician accused of snorting cocaine may confess to having smoked marijuana at college. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Loki’s Wager: Fallacy where someone tries to defend a concept from criticism, or dismiss it as a myth, by unduly claiming it cannot be defined. E.g. "God works in mysterious ways" (god of the gaps), "race is biologically meaningless" (Lewontin’s fallacy). https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Matthew Principle: Advantage begets advantage, leading to social, economic, and cultural oligopolies. The richer you are the easier it is to get even richer, the more recognition a scientist receives for a discovery the more recognition he’ll receive for future discoveries, etc. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Narrative Fallacy: When we see a sequence of facts we interpret them as a story by threading them together into an imagined chain of cause & effect. If a drug addict commits suicide we assume the drug habit led to the suicide, even if it didn’t. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Nirvana Fallacy: When people reject a thing because it compares unfavorably to an ideal that in reality is unattainable. E.g. condemning capitalism due to the superiority of imagined socialism, condemning ruthlessness in war due to imagining humane (but unrealistic) ways to win. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Outgroup Homogeneity Effect: We tend to view outgroup members as all the same e.g. believing all Trump supporters would see someone wearing a MAGA cap, and think that person is also decent, honest, hard-working, etc. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Pareidolia: For aeons predators stalked us in undergrowth & shadow. In such times survival favored the paranoid—those who could discern a wolf from the vaguest of outlines. This paranoia preserved our species, but cursed us with pareidolia, so we now see wolves even in the skies. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Pareto Principle: Pattern of nature in which ~80% of effects result from ~20% of causes. E.g. 80% of wealth is held by 20% of people, 80% of computer errors result from 20% of bugs, 80% of crimes are committed by 20% of criminals, 80% of box office revenue comes from 20% of films. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Peter Principle: People in a hierarchy such as a business or government will be promoted until they suck at their jobs, at which point they will remain where they are. As a result, the world is filled with people who suck at their jobs. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Pluralistic Ignorance: Phenomenon where a group goes along with a norm, even though all of the group members secretly hate it, because each mistakenly believes that the others approve of it. (See also: Abilene Paradox). https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Predictive Coding: There is no actual movement on a TV screen; your brain invents it. There are no actual spaces between spoken words; your brain inserts them. Human perception is like predictive text, replacing the unknown with the expected. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Radical Phase Transition (my term): Extremist movements can behave like solids (tyrannies), liquids (insurgencies), and gases (conspiracy theories). Pressuring them causes them to go from solid => liquid => gas. Leaving them alone causes them to go from gas => liquid => solid. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Reactance Theory: When someone is restricted from expressing a POV, or pressured to adopt a different POV, they usually react by believing their original POV even more. For a detailed example read my piece on my attempt to deradicalize a neo-Nazi: https://areomagazine.com/2017/10/28/how-not-to-de-radicalize-a-twitter-neo-nazi/. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Shifting Baseline Syndrome: Frog says to Fish, "how’s the water?". Fish replies, "what’s water?". We become blind to what we’re familiar with. And since the world is always changing, and we're always getting used to it, we can even become blind to the slow march of catastrophe. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Simpson’s Paradox: A trend can appear in groups of data but disappear when these groups are combined. This effect can easily be exploited by limiting a dataset so that it shows exactly what one wants it to show. Thus: beware of even the strongest correlations. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Streetlight Effect: People tend to get their information from where it’s easiest to look. E.g. the majority of research uses only the sources that appear on the first page of Google search results, regardless of how factual they are. Cumulatively, this can skew an entire field. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Subselves: We use different mental processes in different situations, so each of us is not a single character but a collection of different characters, who take turns to commandeer the body depending on the situation. There is an office "you", a lover "you", an online "you", etc. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Survivorship Bias: We overemphasize the examples that pass a visibility threshold e.g. our understanding of serial killers is based on the ones who got caught. Equally, news is only news if it’s an exception rather than the rule, but since it’s what we see we treat it as the rule. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html The Petrie Multiplier: In fields in which men outnumber women, such as in STEM, women receive an underestimated amount of harassment due to the fact that there are more potential givers than receivers of harassment. (See also: Lotka-Volterra equations). https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Tocqueville Paradox: As the living standards in a society rise, the people’s expectations of the society rise with it. The rise in expectations eventually surpasses the rise in living standards, inevitably resulting in disaffection (and sometimes populist uprisings). https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Ultimate Attribution Error: We tend to attribute good acts by allies to their character, and bad acts by allies to situational factors. For opponents, it’s reversed: good acts are attributed to situational factors, and bad acts to character. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html Woozle Effect: An article makes a claim without evidence, is then cited by another, which is cited by another, and so on, until the range of citations creates the impression that the claim has evidence, when really all articles are citing the same uncorroborated source. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html https://quillette.com/2018/09/30/alex-jones-was-victimized-by-one-oligopoly-but-he-perpetuated-another/. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1225561131122597896.html https://rabbitholemag.com/how-progress-blinds-people-to-progress/. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Be direct and personal when you need things. Instead of asking IF anyone has an EpiPen, ask WHO has an EpiPen. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Expressing that need to them as much [as possible] makes all the difference in the world. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks I currently manage around 240 people between six restaurants. It is often hard to get them to do what is needed. I have found that saying "I need your help" is effective in getting them on board. People want to feel needed and like that they are making a difference. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks I work in an office. When people stop by my desk and refuse to leave me alone, I get up and refill my water bottle while they are talking to me. Instead of walking back to my desk, I walk them to theirs. They instinctively will sit down. Then I just sever the conversation and get back to work. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks I work in emergency services. If someone is totally distraught and shut down, asking their phone number, address, social security number, or birth date can pull them out of an emotional place and bring them back to a headspace where they can talk about what happened more easily. I often ask these questions even after I have the information, just to deescalate. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks I work with a bunch of idiot lawyers and I use the phrase "You’re correct" all the time. Even if it’s one teeny tiny thing they’re correct about, it makes them feel smart and they instantly soften. It also keeps them listening because they’re hoping more flattery will come down the pike. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks If they are screaming and yelling, you need to come in loud — while not attacking them, and agreeing with them (to a point). By agreeing with their anger, they are more open to listen to you. Works pretty much every time, though there might be a little up and down in the middle. Just follow the person's lead while always being a level below them. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks If you look happy to see someone eveytime you see them, they will eventually be happy to see you. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks If you need to deescalate someone and get them to communicate, ask them questions about numbers or personal information. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks If you're trying to pick out dinner with your partner, rather than ask, "What do you want?" and getting the typical "I don't know; anything" answer and then having suggestions shot down, start with, "What do you NOT want?". https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Instead of asking "Do you have any questions?". I ask "What questions do you have?". The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable asking questions. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Instead of saying, "Someone call 911," point to someone and say, "Go call 911 and come tell me when they are on the way.". https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Instead of telling a customer you’re sorry for the wait, tell them thank you for your patience or understanding. Works wonders. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks It really helps when I need to calm down or when I need to feel happier. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks I’m a professional poker player. When I am in a pot with one other player, I often try to make them laugh when they are thinking about what to do. If you can get them to laugh, it sets them in a mood where they are unlikely to bluff. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Listen to someone without giving advice or asking for more information. This typically gets me more information than if I were to be pushy about it. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks My 4-year-old got into the "why?" phase a little while back. I read an article that said the best way to get them to stop was to ask them "I'm not sure, what do you think?" It is a godsend. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks On an airplane, if my seat-mate is hogging the armrest or being too chatty, I grab the barf bag. Works every time. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Put headphones in and play the music that fits your hoped-for mood. It shifts me over to it mentally. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Say hello to everybody you know, with a smile. Just imagine: if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthusiastically, they will think of you as a nice person. So little effort for a person to find you friendly!. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Saying "You're right!" instead of "I know" makes you look less like an asshole and doesn't diminish something someone else may have just found out. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Thank someone for a trait you want them to have. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks They answer their own question, you provide some feedback, and they immediately move on. Fucking awesome. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks To avoid workplace drama and be liked, compliment people behind their back. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks To de-escalate a situation or someone who is prone to violence, address them at one or two emotional levels below where they are. For example, If their anger is at a level 10, then you should come in at a level 8. Being completely calm, reserved, and polite only pisses people off more as you "clearly don't understand the magnitude of the situation.". https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks When I do something bothersome to my husband and he goes quiet, I wait a few minutes and then ask him a seemingly innocent question, usually on the subject of how certain parts of a car works. This gets him talking about the car thing and he rambles for like five minutes and then, Bam! He’s happy again and not quietly brooding. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks When I have something important to say to my kids, I say it very quietly so that they listen. They're immune to my yelling but whispering gets their attention. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head it encourages them to keep talking. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/effective-psychological-tricks When you're in an argument, find something to agree on, then push your main point. https://www.ted.com/talks/ian_dunbar_on_dog_friendly_dog_training We have to enforce without force. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STAqTwaojOM Jiu Jitsu Perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWJVvNptHZ4 Arnold Schwarzenegger motivation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elrnAl6ygeM#action=share Coffee is for closers only!.