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assholes.scroll
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date 8/5/2024
inlineMarkups
~~ s
tags All Life Startups
title Part Assholes are Awesome
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# Anyone not part asshole is full of shit
Steve Jobs was famously part asshole but now the popular crowd says don't emulate that part.
dateline
Fuck them. This is the wrong take and there is no upside to staying wrong^stayingWrong.
***
# Yell at Dishonest Behavior
I wish we had infinite time so anytime someone was being dishonest or lazy I could analyze the situation from every angle, put myself in that person's shoes and model their life and everything they missed or suffered to lead them to their current mistake, and run through many iterations of speeches searching for the words that will effectively teach them with the softest touch the error of their ways.
Unfortunately, as far I as I understand, not a single day is ever guaranteed and so to save my time for happier positive things I have to quickly look them straight in the eye and say "What you are doing is dishonest, knock it the fuck off, or I'll take action," and move on with my life.
***
# Part Assholes have steered me true
I remember clearly many times when both people I love and complete strangers gave me honest advice straight from their assholes^profanity:
"Isn't this a tad bit...dishonest?" someone reprimanded me when I was a kid and thought I was a genius for putting ads on my site but hiding them with CSS so I could still earn money without actually showing ads.
"Breck, what are you doing?" a best friend in college once snapped me out of a drunken stupor and pulled me away from some new girl when I had a girlfriend back home.
"Learn to research properly" an Internet stranger told me thereby encouraging me not only to learn the ways of academia, but then go far beyond that and truly learn the way research should be done.
I don't mind honest feedback delivered harshly. Obviously I prefer honest feedback delivered gently, but harsh feedback and dialogue is better than silence. There's a saying about feedback: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind!” I want to matter, so please keep the feedback coming!
***
# People not part asshole in public are even worse: huge assholes in private
I have learned not to trust people unwilling to be a part asshole (only when it is appropriate of course) in public. These are the people who are real dirty assholes in private, who will collude and plot and gossip in private and then in public act like angels.
***
# What specifically is the "asshole" behavior I'm advocating?
Direct, blunt feedback to someone about specific bad *_behavior_*, that may come across as hyperbolic, is awesome. Again, if you can pivot their behavior in a gentle way, prefer that always. But the most unkind thing you can do to them and to our world is to let bad behavior go unchecked in order to "not be an asshole".
No one likes to be the asshole. I _hate_ it. It sucks. But an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and if you don't nip bad behavior in the bud, it grows.
I do not advocate flipping the bit on people. I believe all people are mostly good, and all can learn to improve their behavior, but they require honest feedback to do that. It's also important to remember due to natural information assymetry, we are naturally biased to judge ourselves by our intentions but others by their actions. Often I give someone blunt feedback and they respond bluntly back correcting me because I was wrong! This is a great outcome that we would not have reached had I flipped the bit on them and not risked being an asshole.
dont-flip-the-bozo-bit.html flipping the bit
***
# What am I trying to optimize for?
center
katex
\min_{B, C}
We want to minimize bad behavior B while also minimizing time spent correcting bad behavior C. If that requires delivering a blunt hyperbolic zinger that risks getting you tagged with the label "asshole", I say go for it.
***
? How short should your "fuse" be?
My strategy is to be polite 2 or 3 times, and then let the person have it. I'm sure there's improvements to this strategy, would love to hear what other people do.
***
# Summary
Perhaps the worst thing about Steve Jobs is that he wasn't _asshole enough in public_^sj. Maybe if he showed the same range in public as he did in private, people would have understood more the value of being part asshole.
- 100% Assholes: Avoid! They are so negative and bothered by everything because everything sticks up their ass.
- 0% Assholes: Avoid! They are full of shit! Or more likely, huge assholes behind closed doors.
- Part Assholes: seek them out!
****
# Update: The question trick
I'm now trying the _question trick_ to see if it does a better job at $\min_{B, C}$.
dateline 8/5/2024
Instead of declaratives ask questions.
## ADD: Ask, Don't Declare.
~~You are being dishonest~~. Do you think this is a tad bit dishonest?
~~You're lazy~~. Might this be lazy?
~~This is terrible~~. Can you do better?
~~Dataset needed~~. What dataset would confirm this?
***
# Notes
- Worth watching.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ017D_JOPY
^stayingWrong The original quote by Ed Catmull. I added the "staying", because I think there is huge upside in being wrong a lot, as long as you pivot quick. There is no upside in _staying_ wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyw28WrGt-c The original quote
^profanity I removed all angry profanity from their quotes above. I forgive the delivery and am grateful for their feedback.
^sj I never met SJ nor his family. This is about the SJ as portrayed in the media, and not the actual person, who I am unfamiliar with. I am familiar with the amazing things that he built, and some of the amazing things his wife has done, but sadly never got the chance to meet him.
https://elementalexcelerator.com/ some of the amazing things
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