[alex]
Is this the real this?
Is this just references?
[nate]
caught in a metaphorical landslide
of random technical jargon
[alex]
Open your IDEs
[nate]
look up to the cloud and sigh
[alex]
I'M JUST A POOR DEV
[brandon]
I need no status meetings
[red]
Because I’m getting dumb, learning go
[brandon]
golang clean, golang run
[red]
Anyway the wind blows, corp america has taken my soul from meeeee, from me.
[red]
set the channel topic: Bohemian Rhapsody only
[brandon]
Mamaaaaa, just pushed some code
[red]
Sprint deadline gun against my head
[brandon]
Made my commitments now I'm dead
[alex]
Mamaaaaaaaaaa, our build had just begun
[brandon]
And now it's gone and promoted alllll the wayyy
[brandon]
Mammmaaaaa oooh noooo
I just starrrted using go
[nate]
If I'm not back in standup here tomorrow
[brandon]
Ship it on, ship it on, as if nothing really matters
[red]
Too late, sprint demo time has come
[nate]
Sends shivers down my spine
builds breaking all the time
[red]
Goodbye everybody, I’m on PTOOOOO
[brandon]
Gotta leave you all behind to support my code
[nate]
Mama ooooOOoooo (anyway, my code blows)
[red]
I don’t not want to die
[brandon]
Sometimes wish I'd never worked here at allll
[nate]
[dramatic coding solo]
I see a little sequence diagram
[brandon]
UML, UML, will you ever be useful?
[alex]
State Machine and Timing, very very frightening me
[brandon]
Big data, big data, big data, big data (big data) mongo db (it's web scalllleeeeeeee)
[alex]
I'm just a poor dev, Go doesn't love me.
[nate]
He's just a poor dev, with a poor company
[alex]
Spare him his life from the OSS community
[alex]
Easy code, easy flow, will you develop in Go?
[brandon]
StackOverfloowww, no we won't code in go (code in go)
StackOverfloowww, we won't code in go (code in go)
StackOverfloowww, we won't code in go (code in go)
(won't code in goo) code in goooo (never code in gooo) goooo
[brandon]
go go GO go GO GO GO GO GO
[nate]
oh my scrum master, my scrum master, my scrum master let me go
[brandon]
Product owner has a story set aside for me
For meeeee
For meeeeeee
[brandon]
[coding solo]
[brandon]
So you think you can block me and deny my PR?
[brandon]
set the channel topic: Gohemian Rhapsody only
[brandon]
So you think you can ack me and leave no reply?
[nate]
ooooh go build. Can't do this to me go build.
[alex]
Just gotta comment out, just gotta comment out all these lines
[final coding solo]
[nate]
Oh oh oh no, oh oh no
Software doesn't matter
[brandon]
Golang run can seeeeee
Software doesn't matter
Software doesn't matter to meeee
[alex]
Anyway, my code blows
[brandon]
[slack message chimes]