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17-Again.txt
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17 AGAIN
Written by
Jason Filardi
October 2007
EXT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL - DUSK
A few cars scatter the parking lot. WE hear GRUNTS followed
by the distinct sound of basketballs shredding net.
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM - CONTINUOUS
An empty gymnasium except for a shirtless MIKE O'DONNELL, 17.
Mike stands feet BEYOND the 3 point line, grabs balls from a
hopper and rapidly shoots, shoots, shoots.
SWISH...SWISH...SWISH. This kid's automatic.
Mike's hair, a pompadour mullet a la `21 Jump Street' and
short shorts circa 1989.
Mustached and curly haired COACH HARVEY, 40, enters.
COACH HARVEY
Hey, O'Donnell, save some for the
game.
Mike sinks one last jumper, turns to the Coach.
MIKE
Just warming up, Coach.
Coach Harvey hands Mike a towel.
COACH HARVEY
First game of the season and the
scouts are already lining up. You
have half the season I know you're
capable of, you can play anywhere
you want, Mike.
MIKE
That's the plan coach.
The rest of the FITCH FALCONS basketball team jogs out from
the locker room followed by a PHOTOGRAPHER.
COACH HARVEY
Round up, Jock Straps! Picture
time.
The Team assembles in the middle of the court. A PLAYER
kneeling in front holds a sign, `FITCH FALCONS, 1989'.
MIKE
Hold on. Ed's not here yet.
DOM, 17, handsome, tall, long rat tail, scoffs-
2.
DOM
Who cares? He's the water boy.
MIKE
And you suck, Dom, but we're
letting you in the picture.
A shoving match breaks out between Mike and Dom.
COACH HARVEY
Hey! Hey! Knock it off.
Coach Harvey pulls the Players apart just as the gym doors
burst open. ED FREEDMAN, 17, sporting a jacket over a WIZARD
costume, runs in, trips on his robe, gets up, peels his
clothes off.
ED
Sorry I'm late. I was locked in a
life and death battle with the dark
wizard...
COACH HARVEY
...Fall in, Freedman. Hurry up.
Ed takes a spot next to Dom.
PHOTOGRPAHER
And 3, 2, 1-
WE see Dom reach behind Ed, grab hold of his
underwear...RRRRIIIPP...FLASH. And with the flash WE cut to:
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM - NIGHT
The Falcons run, pass and shoot on one end of the court. On
the opposite end, a TEAM in BLUE warms up.
Lights dim. Cue MC Hammer's `Can't Touch This'. CHEERLEADERS
at center court perform the Hammer DANCE ROUTINE. PAN around
the gym, everybody's doing the Hammer dance.
Ed awkwardly tries to imitate Mike.
Coach shakes his head in disgust and when the routine ends-
COACH HARVEY
Alright, Ladies, bring it in!
The Falcons swarm to the bench, take seats. Ed hands waters
to the Players, skips Dom, stops at Mike.
3.
MIKE
Ed, I can't help you with the girls
if you keep showing up places
dressed like the Cookie Crisp guy.
Okay? Dude, don't look now but I
think Muffy Campanella is scopin'
you hard.
ED
For real?
Ed jerks around to blatantly stare at her.
MIKE
Smile, pud.
Ed flashes a goofy smile. MUFFY mimes puking.
MIKE (CONT'D)
My bad.
GIRL'S VOICE (o.s.)
Mike?
SCARLET, 17, an 80's beauty, stands at the end of the bench.
MIKE
Who's that stone cold fox? Oh,
it's my girlfriend.
(walks over)
I'm glad you're here, Scar. This
whole scout thing's got me wicked
nervous.
Dom dribbles past, smiles at Scarlet.
DOM
I'm dedicating my first basket to
you, Scarlet.
MIKE
Way you shoot that might be mid-
season!
(to Scarlet)
Everything cool?
She smiles nervously, lies...
SCARLET
Oh yeah. Everything's totally
copacetic.
4.
MIKE SCARLET
Totally? Totally.
REFEREE blows the whistle.
COACH HARVEY
Let's go! Remember, Boys, winners
get the girls. Losers please
themselves!
MIKE
(to Scarlet)
Excellent. Gotta run.
He kisses her cheek, starts off, turns back-
MIKE (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
LONG SHOT: We hear nothing but see Mike's body deflate. He
steps away from Scarlet towards center court.
Muffy and her friends mock Ed and laugh hysterically
ED
Do you really think Muffy's in to
me?
Mike, in a daze walks right past Ed. Takes his place for the
jump ball. The Crowd stomps and cheers LOUDLY.
The Ref is about to toss the ball. Mike looks up at the
stands, sees a crushed Scarlet heading for the exit. Mike's
torn. Play or go after her. He goes after her.
COACH HARVEY
Where you going!? O'Donnell!?
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/TUNNEL - NIGHT
Mike rushes in.
MIKE
Scar! Wait.
She turns, slumps against the wall. Mike catches up to her.
Mike leans in and kisses Scarlet.
CUT TO:
5.
EXT. PALISADES NEIGHBORHOOD. PRESENT DAY - MORNING
Opulent HOMES. OCEAN views. Luxury CARS. Manicured LAWNS.
The sound of an alarm clock shatters the silence as WE settle
in on a large, MEDITERRANEAN STYLE HOUSE.
INT. ED'S HOUSE/MIKE'S BEDROOM - MORNING
MIKE O'DONNELL, now 36, angrily slaps the alarm off...6 AM.
He climbs out of bed, bones creaking, stiff, groans.
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
A showered, suited Mike stands before the mirror, knots a tie
around his neck.
MIKE
(UNINSPIRED)
Today is going to be a good day. I
love my job. I am a lucky man.
Who's lucky? Mike O'Donnell.
Mike yanks his tie straight up as if he were hanging himself.
INT. ED'S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - MORNING
ED FREEDMAN, now 36, lies on a portable table in his boxers.
ACUPUNCTURE NEEDLES protrude from every inch of his body,
neck and face...at least 5000 needles.
A HOT, YOUNG ACUPUNCTURIST adds more to him.
ACUPUNCTURIST
Can you feel your Qi flowing
freely?
ED
I'm not sure if its my Qi or
internal bleeding.
Mike enters, shakes his head in amusement.
MIKE
What are you doing now?
Ed looks over, sees Mike watching.
6.
ED
There he is. There's Mr. Sunshine.
Fei Jing Acupuncture. It's all the
rage. Makes you look five years
younger.
Ed climbs slowly off the table, shuffles over, groaning in
pain the entire way. He pours himself a shot of BROWN LIQUID
from a pitcher, throws the shot back and immediately SPITS it
all over the place.
ED (CONT'D)
(calls to Acupuncturist)
What's this brown stuff again?
ACUPUNCTURIST
Rhinoceros urine. Pure protein.
ED
Delish!
(to Mike)
The girl has absolutely no clue
what she's doing.
MIKE
Then why are you letting her stick
needles in you?
ED
Because she's hot. But today's not
about me. It's about you becoming
the new regional sales manager.
MIKE
I better be. I've invested 18
years of my life in that miserable
company.
ED
No negativity. Negativity's for
the 800 pound fat lady who needs to
be airlifted out of bed. You,
Michael Shawn O'Donnell, are a
winner.
MIKE
A winner doesn't have to crash at
his best friend's house because he
was kicked out of his own house.
ED
Are you kidding?! It doesn't get
any better than this!
(MORE)
7.
ED (CONT'D)
I gotta get back. My legs just
went numb. Good luck today.
Ed drags painfully back to the Acupuncturist.
EXT. SAN FERNANDO VALLEY - MORNING
Mike wheels his Audi A4 below a nondescript, two level
building. Sign reads, `Wyatt Pharmaceuticals'.
INT. WYATT PHARMACEUTICALS/CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING
PHARMACEUTICAL DRUG POSTERS cover the walls. Smiling faces,
happy couples...little pills.
Surrounding a conference table are Mike's colleagues...HOT
WOMEN, 20 to 35, in skimpy business suits, chatting away.
Mike sits amongst them, the only male present. A glum look
on his face. WENDY, bubbly, ditsy, 22, leans over to him.
WENDY
Congratulations, Mike. You deserve
it. You're like a totally amazing
salesman.
MIKE
Thanks, Wendy. That like totally
means so much to me.
ROGER, 23, boss, strides through the door.
ROGER
Good morning, peeps. As you all
know, today I'll be naming the new
regional sales manager. What's it
take to be an RSM? Leadership
skills, a comprehensive knowledge
of today's prescription
pharmaceuticals and most
importantly a dedicated soldier.
Mike straightens his tie, buttons his suit jacket.
ROGER (CONT'D)
All being said, congratulations-
(Mike begins to rise)
Wendy.
Dumbfounded, Mike slumps back into his seat. Wendy springs
up out of hers, SCREAMING and BOUNCING.
8.
ROGER (CONT'D)
Now go out there and sell some
drugs peeps!
The Women stream out.
MIKE
How could you do this to me? I've
been a salesman here 18 years.
Wendy's only been here 2 months!?
ROGER
Look, your sales are admittedly
better but she has the college
degree. What can I do?
MIKE
You can give me the promotion,
Roger!
ROGER
Things have changed. I couldn't
even hire you now with only a high
school diploma. My hands are tied,
bro-ski.
Mike swallows his pride and exits.
EXT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/PARKING LOT - DUSK
Mike pulls into the empty parking lot, climbs out of his car
and into the building.
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL - DUSK
Mike hurries down the hall, opens a door, peeks his head in.
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/GYM - DUSK
Mike peers around...nobody.
MIKE
Alex?
No answer. A basketball sits in the middle of the floor.
Mike enters, picks up the ball, begins dribbling...faster,
between his legs, around his back, up to the 3 point line-
MIKE (CONT'D)
3, 2, 1-
9.
Mike hits a perfect jumper at the imaginary buzzer, smiles.
MIKE (CONT'D)
The kid's still got it.
Mike dashes for the bouncing ball, scoops it up, goes for a
reverse lay up, makes it but when he lands...he
lands...CRACK...hard. Mike grabs his lower back, groans-
MIKE (CONT'D)
Ooooh. That was stupid.
INT. FITCH SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HALL - DUSK
Mike limps out of the gym, wanders over to a wall covered in
PHOTOGRAPHS...Fitch basketball teams of the past.
Mike searches the pictures until he finds it...the photo WE
saw being taken earlier...the team of 1989. Ed mid howl from
Dom's wedgy.
Mike stares at the photograph...lost in time and thought.
The smiling, confident image of his youth stares back at him.
MALE VOICE (o.s.)
You know someone in that picture?
Mike startles from his daydream, turns. A kind-faced, old
JANITOR, stands behind him, mop in hand.
MIKE
I do. Me. I'm in the center
there.
The Janitor leans in, takes a closer look at Young Mike.
JANITOR
Adolescence can be so cruel.
MIKE
What are you talking about?
(lost in the picture
AGAIN)
I had life by the balls in that
picture. Everything was possible.
Then a few minutes later, pffffft,
all gone.
JANITOR
`For of all sad words of tongue and
pen, the saddest are these: `It
might have been...'
10.
MIKE
That'll be my epitaph.
JANITOR
We all have regrets.
MIKE
Why's it have to be that way?
JANITOR
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.
Can't hurt to ask. You never know
who's listening, Michael.
Michael wistfully eyes the old photo, looks back to the
JANITOR-
MIKE
How did you know...
ALEX (O.S.)
...What are you doing, Dad?
ALEX, 15, messy hair and slight, and MAGGIE, 17 and awkwardly
pretty, appear at the other end of the hall.
MIKE
Hey, Guys. I was just talking to-
Mike looks back to the Janitor...GONE.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Never mind. Sorry I'm late. You
ready to get some dinner then?
They make their way towards the door. Mike limping.
ALEX
Why are you limping?
MIKE
Tweaked my back pumping iron.
Really, really heavy iron.
INT. CHEESECAKE FACTORY - NIGHT
Mike, Alex and Maggie sit before dinner. Alex eats heartily.
Maggie quietly pushes her food around.
MIKE
I bet your chompin' at the bit for
hoop season to start.
11.
ALEX
Yeah, me and the guys are running
drills, scrimmaging, getting in
shape.
Maggie stifles a laugh.
MIKE
That's my boy. Remember, it's not
how big you are-
ALEX
-it's how big you play.
Father and Son touch fists.
MIKE
And what about you, Mags? What's
new?
MAGGIE
Nothing.
ALEX
She got into Georgetown.
MIKE
You did!? That's fantastic!
MAGGIE
It's no big deal.
MIKE
It's a huge deal. That's a great
university. I'm proud of you.
(Maggie remains quiet)
Am I missing something here?
MAGGIE
You wouldn't understand.
MIKE
Try me.
MAGGIE
I have a lot of emotional stress
right now. My friends are all
going to different schools, I'm not
even sure...
12.
MIKE
That's not stress. Wait `til you
get out into the real world, get a
crappy job, have some smarmy twerp-
boss calling you bro-ski...
Maggie rolls her eyes.
ALEX
Did you get the promotion, Dad?
MIKE
Still waiting to hear.
Mike forces a smile hiding his disappointment.
EXT. SAN FERNANDO VALLEY/MIKE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Mike pulls up behind a `Dom's Nursery' van. He, Alex and
Maggie step out. Mike eyes the van with disdain.
MIKE
Is your mom home?
ALEX
She's probably out back.
MIKE
Hey, next week we'll have a
barbecue at Uncle Ed's. Sound
good?
MAGGIE
I'm counting down the minutes.
Maggie heads straight for the modest ranch house and inside.
MIKE
What's with her?
ALEX
We see you once a week for a couple
hours. What do you expect?
Alex follows Maggie into the house. Mike makes his way
around back.
EXT. MIKE'S HOUSE/BACKYARD - DAY
As Mike rounds the corner, he almost runs into a smiling Dom
Johnson, 36. Don lugs 3 loaded trash bags.
13.
DOM
Hey, Mike. Good to see you. Tough
break, you and Scarlet.
MIKE
Bite me, Dom.
Dom serves Mike a cocky wink, continues on. Mike scowls.
Scarlet, 36, slams a shovel into the ground, wedges it
beneath a dying shrub and rips it out.
MIKE (CONT'D)
A little late for a delivery isn't
it?
SCARLET
Dom was in the neighborhood. He
offered to make a dump run for me.
MIKE
Doesn't he live 30 miles from here?
SCARLET
What's your point?
MIKE
Come on. He's been after you since
10th grade and he's after you now.
SCARLET
At least someone's after me.
Mike smiles playfully and begins to serenade-
MIKE
`In touch with the ground, I'm on
the hunt I'm after you.'
Scarlet shakes her head-
SCARLET
Please, Mike. This isn't high
school. That's not gonna work.
MIKE
`Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a
crowd, and I'm hungry like the
wolf.'
Mike flirtatiously stalks her. Scarlet fights smiling.
14.
SCARLET
You can stop now. It's not
working.
MIKE
`Mouth is alive, with juices like
wine, and I'm hungry like the wolf'
Mike gets close to Scarlet's face. She smiles, stops herself
and pushes him away.
SCARLET
You no longer have the right to
invoke the "wolf."
A chastised Mike eyes the yard...it's a WRECK...holes and
mounds of dirt everywhere, carcasses of dead plants, bushes
and flowers strewn about.
MIKE
Why are you destroying the yard?
Scarlet stops shoveling, wipes dirt from her face.
SCARLET
I'm gonna use it as a showpiece for
clients. Thanks for asking.
MIKE
Kind of a big undertaking isn't it?
SCARLET
I am a landscape designer. Then
again you barely took an interest
in my work so I guess that's a fair
question.
An awkward silence. Then-
MIKE
I didn't get it.
SCARLET
I'm sorry. But maybe this is what
you needed. Maybe it's time you
looked for something else?
MIKE
That's a great idea, Scar. Because
there are so many options out there
for a 36 year old with only a high
school diploma.
15.
Scarlet throws the shovel to the ground.
SCARLET
And it's all my fault, isn't it?
MIKE
I didn't say that.
SCARLET
No, but it's what you think, right?
Mike's silence says it all. Scarlet fights back tears.
SCARLET (CONT'D)
I never asked you to marry me.
MIKE
But I did.
Scarlet shakes her head in frustration.
SCARLET
I'm sorry you're not happy with the
way your life turned out Mike,
really, I am, but you're not the
victim here.
Scarlet goes back to shoveling. Mike turns, steps, falls
into a hole.
INT. MIKE'S AUDI - NIGHT
A somber Mike drives alongside the Los Angeles River. An old
song plays low on the radio...static...then...BOOM. THUNDER
roars scaring Mike and literally shaking the Audi. SPLASH.
RAIN drops in buckets.
MIKE
Jesus!
Mike turns the wipers on high. Not much help. He slows the
car to a crawl, straining to see out the windshield.
LIGHTNING flashes. We see the Janitor leaning over the
railing looking into the raging river. Mike brakes, throws
his door open, jumps out into the pouring rain.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
MIKE
Hey!? Get away from there!?
16.
Mike, blinded by the rain makes his way to the railing. The
Janitor's GONE.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Oh no!! Hello!?
Mike leans over the rickety railing, looks down...
The phosphorescent water swirls angrily...rising quickly.
It's mesmerizing. Magical. Mike can't take his eyes off-
LIGHTENING FLASHES Mike's 17 year-old face reflection stares
back up at him.
MIKE (CONT'D)
What the-
CRACK. The railing BREAKS. Mike FALLS...SPLASH...headlong
into the river.
CUT TO:
EXT. ED'S HOUSE - NEXT MORNING
Mike's Audi rolls into the driveway. The door swings open.
A muddy, shoeless foot steps out followed by a shoed foot but
in no better shape.
WE follow the feet, tattered slacks dragging on the cement,
to the door. 2 filthy hands dig into pockets, searching-
MIKE
Damn it.
(pushes doorbell)
Ed! Ed! I lost my key!
INT. ED'S HOUSE - MORNING
Ed, wrapped in a robe, tissue between his toes, wobbles to
the door so as not to mess up his freshly polished nails.
ED
Coming! I've been worried sick!
WHERE-
Ed opens the door...standing before him is Mike, covered in
MUD. His ripped, grimy suit now hangs off of him
because...HE'S 17 AGAIN.
Ed's eyes widen with FEAR.
17.
MIKE
I've had a really rough night.
ED
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Ed slams the door, frantically wobbles away. The door opens,
ANGLE ON the muddy feet as they enter and follow the trail of
cotton balls up the stairs and to the bathroom door.
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
ANGLE ON Ed cowering against the back wall, brandishing an
over-sized loofah. The door slowly swings open. Ed gasps-
ED
Don't come any closer! I'll use
it!
MIKE
What are you gonna do? Exfoliate
me to death?
(Ed shrieks)
You got into my samples case again,
didn't you?
A whimpering Ed points to the mirror.
MIKE (CONT'D)
What's your problem, it's only mud.
The muddy feet turn toward the mirror and-
MIKE (CONT'D)
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
ANGLE ON the mirror. Mike's 17. He turns on the water,
splashes his face frantically. Mud gone. He's still 17.
MIKE (CONT'D)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Mike tears his suit jacket and shirt off...hairless chest.
He yanks off his pants, peeks down his boxers-
MIKE (CONT'D)
I'm dreaming right? Is this some
kind of hallucination?
Mike pulls Ed up by his robe.
18.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Do something! Anything! Pinch me!
Ed throws a knee into Mike's nuts, bolts out the door
SCREAMING. Mike crumbles.
MIKE (CONT'D)
I said pinch!
INT. ED'S HOUSE/FOYER - DAY
Ed reaches the door, fumbles with the locks. He just manages
to open the door when Mike tackles him to the floor.