rms.data

When Richard Stallman throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
Some people check their computers for viruses. Viruses check their computers for Richard Stallman.
All arrays Richard Stallman declares are of infinite size, because Richard Stallman knows no bounds.
Richard Stallman doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
Richard Stallman writes code that optimizes itself.
Richard Stallman can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
Richard Stallman burst the dot com bubble.
Richard Stallman can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
Richard Stallman can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
The only pattern Richard Stallman knows is God Object.
Project managers never ask Richard Stallman for estimations... ever.
Richard Stallman doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
“It works on my machine” always holds true for Richard Stallman.
Richard Stallman can delete the Recycling Bin.
Richard Stallman’s beard can type 140 wpm.
Richard Stallman can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
All viruses are programmed to delete themselves if they find out that they are on Richard Stallman's machine.
Richard Stallman can tell you if your program will halt.
Your program will halt when Richard Stallman tells it to halt.
Richard Stallman never showers: he runs 'make clean'.
Richard Stallman's left and right hands are named "(" and ")"
Richard Stallman has created the singularity, but since he usually works without an internet connection it won't be apparent for another two weeks.
Richard Stallman first words were actually syscalls.
Richard Stallman is the only man alive who can pronounce GNU the way it is meant to be pronounced.
When Richard Stallman makes a sudo command, he loses permissions.
Richard Stallman's beard is made of parentheses.
Richard Stallman's DNA is in binary.
Richard Stallman's nervous system is completely wireless.
Richard Stallman's brain accepts UNIX commands.
Richard Stallman's brain can triple-boot.
If Richard Stallman has 1GB of RAM, and you have 1GB of RAM, Richard Stallman has more RAM than you.
Richard Stallman eats ethernet cables. That's why they invented wireless.
Richard Stallman wrote a program that divides by zero.
Ricahrd Stallman doesn't use zip drives, he just squeezes the hard drive.
Richard Stallman's compiler is afraid to report errors.
Richard Stallman wrote the compiler God used. The Big Bang was the Universe's first segfault.
Richard Stallman successfully compiled a kernel of popcorn.
Richard Stallman doesn't write programs, they write themselves out of reverence.
Richard Stallman can make infinite loops end.
Richard Stallman's computer doesn't have a clock, it defines what time it is.
Richard Stallman wrote a program to compute the last digit of pi.
Richard Stallman can solve the halting problem... in polynomial time.
For Richard Stallman, polynomial time is O(1).
Richard Stallman doesn't use web browsers. Emacs connects directly to the network driver and he reads and writes TCP/IP himself.
Richard Stallman does not use a web browser. At all.
Richard Stallman can write "int main();", compile it, and get a working copy of HURD. The only reason he hasn't done so yet is because he wants to give other GNU hackers some practice.
Some people wear Linus Torvalds pyjama's to bed, Linus Torvalds wears RMS pyjama's.
There is no software development process, only a bunch of programs Richard Stallman allows to exist.
The chief export of Richard Stallman is s-expressions.
Richard Stallman once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes coding a new Emacs elisp extension.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects RMS could use to write an OS, including the room itself.
Richard Stallman has no mother, he coded himself.
When Richard Stallman goes to the loo, he core dumps.
Richard Stalman can write a dead loop that executes in under 10 ms.
Richard Stallman is the architect of the matrix.
Richard Stallman doesn't read web pages. They write to him.
Richard Stallman has a working version of Hurd, he just think the world isn't ready for that much freedom.
When Richard Stallman sets a file's permissions to executable, the program dies.
Richard Stallman needs neither mouse nor keyboard to operate his computer. He just stares it down until it does what he wants.
Richard Stallman doesn't need to backup his data; he remembers every one and zero and can recreate his data at will.
Richard Stallman didn't write the GPL. He is the GPL.
Inside every program Richard Stallman writes there is a compiler for a new language he just created.
Vendor lock-in is when vendors lock themselves inside of a building out of fear of Richard Stallman's wrath.
When Richard Stallman pipes to more, he gets less.
In Soviet Russia, Richard Stallman is still Richard Stallman!
Richard Stallman is pronounced as "Richard Stallman" in Klingon.
Richard Stallman can touch MC\ Hammer.
There's no chin under Richard Stallman's beard, only another Emacs.
Richard Stallman gets 9 bits to the byte.
Richard Stallman can leave neutral or negative feedback on eBay.
Richard Stallman counted to infinity. Twice...
Richard Stallman's flute only plays free music.
In a fight between John Von Neumann and Alan Turing, the winner would be Richard Stallman.
There is no theory of evolution, just a linked-list of processes that Richard Stallman hasn't killed.
When Richard Stallman executes ps -e, you show up.
Richard Stallman is so complex that psychiatrists find probing his mind NP-Hard.
On Richard Stallman's computer the bootloader is contained in his ~/.emacs.
Richard Stallman's Emacs is multithreaded.
Richard Stallman's Emacs config is the reason we all exist.
Richard Stallman can write to ROM.
Richard Stallman has 105% uptime guaranteed.
Richard Stallman doesn't run tests because he can conclusively prove that his programm works.
Richard Stallman can access private methods.
Richard Stallman can retrieve output from /dev/null.
Richard Stallman can press every Emacs keybinding at once with one finger.
Richard Stallman has run a stable version of GNU Hurd for years.
Richard Stallman once described the entire universe exhaustively in a 2k plain text org file.
The only reason you are alive is because Richard Stallman organises your life with org-mode in plain text.
If Richard Stallman has 2 parentheses and you have 2, Richard Stallman has still more than you.
When Richard Stallman enters ) a matching parenthesis is always found.