Cherrypick 1.25: Drop Node events when EC2 instance does not exist and node is not new

[mmerkes]

What type of PR is this?
/kind bug

What this PR does / why we need it:
See #753
Which issue(s) this PR fixes:

Fixes #

Special notes for your reviewer:

Does this PR introduce a user-facing change?:

NONE

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[cartermckinnon]

/lgtm
/approve

[cartermckinnon]

/approve cancel

need to get the vulns patched on this branch

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[cartermckinnon]

Dependency updates have been addressed on this branch in other PR's. @mmerkes is out of the office for a bit, and we need to get this fix in for a batch of releases soon. CI is green on the jobs that matter.